Dungeons and Dragons 08

For those who have played D&D, or other games such as those...click here for hilarity. Everyone else, move along. Nothin' to see here.

And I quote:

PALIN: Hi folks! Sorry I'm late! I brought caribou burgers.

HILARY: Who the HELL is this?

MCCAIN: It's cool, she's with me.

HILARY: No! No, it's not cool! Every time you bring one of your rodeo-queen girlfriends in here she ends up playing some succubus infiltrator and killing the whole party!

MCCAIN: Now, that is patently untrue.

BIDEN: He has a point. Cindy turned out to be a vampire.

MCCAIN: DUDE. SHUT UP.

GM: You guys, seriously, if you don't knock it off with the bickering I'm going to start docking XP."

Gratitude

I am grateful for so many things. Right at this moment, with my warm, hand-made rice pack fresh from the microwave, sitting in my lap, I am grateful for this video, which made me smile.

I am grateful for the passing of Time. Now, I KNOW we "created" the concept of "time" and all that, but right now I am feeling blessed that time has moved me past my stress-fraught evening on Tuesday, and ever toward the upcoming full moon.

Because the upcoming full moon will include:

The tall guy on the Right, (seen here with his kids and their friends on the roof of a cabin).

My oldest friend, Jenny, went to Grinnell with Kevin, and introduced us about six months ago and we have been writing often, when we have time to spare. So Jenny and I are both excited that Kevin will be coming to Boston next month for a few days to visit. I am grateful that I now know another Truly Keen Person.

I am grateful that there is still a sky for a plane to fly in to get me to Pittsburgh. I am grateful that I don't have to flap my own wings to get there, as my wings are quite tired.

I am grateful that I have a truly Keen mother, and that I get to spend a few days with her soon.

I am grateful for the opportunity to VOTE soon. I am all tingly about this one. This is the first election that has moved me so powerfully. I am anxious, Hopeful, and feeling very alive about this.

I am grateful for the bestest, most wonderfulest dog on the planet. She makes an excellent bed warmer, and she snuggles really well.

I am grateful that the oil filled radiator/heater which caught fire in my daughter's bedroom as she slept, ceased to flame after being unplugged. (I only wish that when my kids are flaming -nasty that I could unplug them, too)

I am grateful for all those Duck Alternatives who gave their little lives for me, so I can have a toasty warm Down Alternative quilt to snuggle under.

I am grateful for the brilliant stars this morning, Orion shining so very brightly, before dawn.

Take a walk today. Really. Life is balancing on the razor-edge of cusp between Now and Then, between Autum and Really Fucking Cold Autumn. Take a cup of tea for a walk.

You will be glad you did.

Support from afar

(I had a particularly nasty evening with a teen who was lashing out at me...this is what I found this morning in my inbox)

"We are im-perfect and fail-able beings. Accepting and embracing our
essential Truth with Compassion and Awareness, we free ourselves from
Fear and Suffering. By demonstrating that we are both capable of, and
worthy of, love for ourselves, despite our "failings", we invite
others into that expanding circle of radiance that is us.

Of course we feel pain when our own children reject and criticize us.
We are, after all, socialized to fall entrapped in a relationship of
reciprocal "love" dependacy - something we escape only with deep
awareness and great effort.

Real-izing that M's anger is about her, and not you, only goes so far
in healing your own pain. Because as "Her Mother", you of course
suffer for the fact that "Your Child" is suffering. And feel guilty
that you are potentially responsible - for having failed her in some
way - for not having modeled a healthier way to Be in a relationship.

For me family relationships are where my most difficult - and
important - work will likely always lie.

Perhaps the fact that we don't choose our family - that we can't "take
'em, or leave 'em" - has something to do with the intensity of our
suffering there." Inspiring Words and image-Kevin Field

Crack me Up

Just heard on Ellen:

Ellen: "So, who do you think is gonna win this electoral race?"

Chris Rock: "Obama. Wanna know why? 'Cause he is Kenyan. And you can't win a race against a Kenyan!"

Shoulda been shot at dawn THEN...

In his book The Real McCain, author Cliff Schecter claims that in 1992 John McCain made extremely ugly remarks about his wife Cindy McCain during a tirade witnessed by three reporters and two aides. "At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, 'You're getting a little thin up there,'" Schechter writes. "McCain's face reddened, and he responded, 'At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.' McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days."

The You Tube video of this has been pretty much scrubbed or disabled. Too bad he can't clean up his mouth as well as he tried to clean up the internet from this gaffe. I mean, that was 1992, and I doubt he is any more "chipper" or "spry" NOW, so many years later. But, then again, maybe his Tourette's is under control. Erm, cuntrol, I mean...Heh.

Jesus Christ on a waffle cone!!! Who is willing to put this asshat out of his and our misery???

McFuddyDuddy...

Please click the links for entire articles:

Does not know the difference between Sudan and Somalia.

Is clueless about Iraq/Pakistan political and geographic issues.

Just plain ol' forgot where Spain is.

Is unclear on the difference between Shia and Sunni.

Thinks Czechoslovakia is still there.

At least Palin KNOWS where Russia is.

Damn.

They are dumb.

Barely Alive

Anyone who knows me knows I do not do well without a good sleep. And the three hours of sleep I *did* get were fraught with awful dreams. I won't go into all the gory details but I will say that at one point I had fifteen inches of stitches down the inside of my right arm, and at another point I actually killed a man with my bare hands. As in DEAD. It was the first time I have ever had a dream like that, and I can still feel my hands around his neck, squeezing my thumbs into this veins until the heartbeat stopped. I was, in fact, defending myself and another young girl from her father, who was abusive. At some other point a young boy jumped out of a window and died. Lots going on in those three hours of sleep.

I got home around 1:30 this morning from an event we catered at a wonderful mansion in Watertown. The bride was gorgeous, the theme was black and white, with orchids all over the place. The cake, a vegan masterpiece. We did an amazing job, and it was a thrilling ride.

But I hurt in places I did not know I owned. Raising sheet trays of soup bowls into a hot box, and then out again, and lugging stuff all night has left me quite sore and weary. More coffee is needed. And perhaps a massage!

So have a shot of Keen on me, and send me healing vibes and a few hours of rest!

Click here for outstanding work by Laura Plansker

Octember...

October is the second most busy wedding month. Did you know that? Well, it is. So that means that I have been very busy. Between the three part time jobs I have, I have worked the last ten days and will not have a day off until next Thursday. I will be hopping over to Pennsylvania for a few days to help my Mom move, while a friend stays here keeping my dog and cats from tearing down the house, and I have a few photo shoots scheduled as well. So, my presence here will be sporadic at best, but know that in the deep recesses of my cranium I am *always* thinking of Keen Things to post.

Off to the kitchen! Have a great day!

Because I am funny that way...

I think that Lux and I should go out on Halloween. I think I shall get her a McCain mask, and paint myself white, wear a white bee hive hair-do and go as a Whiter Shade of Palin. I will make sure to use a studded collar and her prong chain. Oooh! Maybe a muzzle!

I cannot for the life of me figure this out. I mean really, people. The way I see it the only way Caribou Barbie made it this far is because her husband caught McWhiteypants in the middle of a Furries Convention in a compromised, um, position, so, like...Sarah's got the goods.

Blackmail, people. Plain and simple.

When is the last time the Republicans have presented such an astounding resolve to the Very Right in social policy (we're talking Supreme Court. Rove-v-Wade. And so much more!!)? When was the last time a man of HIS stature and income dug up a gun-toting, witch-hating, loose cannon ??

*waddles away scratching her head*

Balance in all things...

Oh, dear, that just won't Do!

Miss Teen Louisiana gets busted by the Po-Po, Click HERE

And, what a rather unfortunate last name for the newly crowned...Berthelot???

Tap yer Toes

Obama '08 - Vote For Hope from MC Yogi on Vimeo.

What I See

Gentle Embrace

According to my daughter...

we're all gonna die. Yup. In 2012. Onaccountabecause it has been predicted. See, she says that McCain will win, and he's gonna die and then Palin will be president. She says that Palin will probably find out that someone on her staff had an abortion and then she will go all postal on someone and then push that button she was petting for the last half a year or so. God will tell her to do it. My daughter laughs and at the same time says it sucks.

Damn. She's smart.

But, at the same time she uses said logic to get out of things that involve the future, like, say pay attention in class so she can go to college some day. Cause, you see, she won't be around after 2012.

So I told her "not if I have my way".

So, um, yeah.

Vote.

So my kid can go to to college in 2012.

My Weekend

Consisted of lots of THIS:



And my daughter got some roses the other day. They look like THIS:



And I also made a kick-ass pork roast (sorry, Jenny!-she is a vegetarian who adores piggies):



First I seared the beast. Then I made a marinade/chutney with marinated ginger, pineapple, onions, tamari sauce, orange juice and garlic:


Which I slathered on the beast and roasted at 375 degrees until done (about 135 degrees internal temp, then 10 minutes carry-over temp for medium rare) et voila!:

In a barrel going over the falls...Micro Fiction

"Sometimes life feels like the true commitment that it is - Like I just signed a long document that speaks of going over the falls, in a barrel. Over and over again. Forever. Trust is a mighty barrel, and when I look down I can see all these other barrels splintered among the rocks. But, as if in a dream from some hot, sweaty August night, the haunting remembrance awakens again. Yes, I committed to staying Open in life. And, damnit, the current is racing like a tweaked out meth addict. So, I guess I can admit that I am going over that precipice. Naked. In a barrel." Inspiring Words, by Me

Tres Phunni

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Silly Me!

Damn. This is funny. In a sorta "watching the fat kid try to climb the rope in gym class" kinda way. John Denver and Peggy Lipton (get it?)'s love child makes pizza money outside a giant flea market.

Please drink responsibly (but just up to that edge) prior to watching this.

It is so bad, it's good. One glass and I want more...

Heh.

Let's just tweak those funny synapses a little, m'kay?

I *heart*23/6. Click here for giggles!

Venusian Perk

Intergalactic Fair-Trade Coffee Anyone?

You are SO BUSTED!

I called this months ago. Freud is rolling around in his grave laughing and saying "I told you so!"

I think this man needs to spend 6 months with Dr. Drew. Or Dr. Phil. Or in Primal Scream Therapy. Cause, really now people...

He is stuck. He is still in prison. He needs help. He is Dangerous.

As far as I am concerned, this was match point for Obama. (But, I kinda have a soft spot for Barry...and I am Obama OHana. But, y'all all ready knew that, eh?)

GOBAMA! GO SOX!

If this man can wrastle that much money from the Universe in one month, I suspect he can be of great help in our journey back to financial health as nation, don'tcha think?

And, if he really can hold hands and play well with Colin Powell, across the isle, I think we have a chance of finding our way out of some present and future war maneuvers. Jussayin'

And, TELL ME YOU SAW CARIBOU BARBIE ON SNL! Frankly, I thought it was uncomfortably brilliant, and a phenomenal move for their party. This is likely the sole positive thing you will hear me say about "That Other Guy", her boss. (thinkin' of that, considering the possibility of being in the woods with this woman wielding a rifle, and the AMAZING similarity between McWhiteysnarkbutt and the Little Big Man, W on a political realm, I would hope that anyone thinking of going to Camp with "Those Other Folks" would reconsider.) Know whaa im sayin'? No one wants to get Cheney'd by Sarah Palin. She won't miss. I think she uses God as her crosshairs. (that sounds so dirty).

By the way, GO SOX!!! We will be playing the Rays tonight to find out for real, but it sorta looks to me like we have a really good shot at winning the ALC division title, and a good shot at the World Series. Sometimes, I am so very proud to be from Massachusetts.

But then I think about the Big Dig and say "Fuck You" all over again, stomp off for another mug of coffee mumbling about mismanagement asshats of the Feduciary Species.

Dreams and Nightmares

Yes, people, I watched the debate last night. And I have a few chosen words to relay. I figure you come here and read my blog because you like to know what I think or feel or see, so I am going to hit you straight on.

Firstly, I firmly believe that McCain has his head up his ass. And he can wipe that silly smirk off his horsey face any minute now. And whiten his teeth while he is at it. Get a fucking grip.

Yes, anything ANYONE proposes at this point will likely disturb the nation's insane propulsion forward toward the American Dream. I pretty much think we can kiss that dream goodbye for a long time. I also think that the American Dream from the 50's got overinflated as time went by, and the current sense of entitlement that we, as Americans, have is bloated, materialistic, and disgraceful. In a world where people are starving and there are serious shortages of clean water, where health care is non-existent, and all the myriad of other problems, who the hell are we to expect, YES, I said EXPECT, mini-mansions, SUV's, gourmet packaged foods, Ultimate Education, and all the other things the American Dream has represented for the last 50 years???

Yes, I believe that we all should help to get this problem of an economy solved. But I also think that the first step should be to identify and locate the top 100 offenders in the Stock Market, the Derivative's "Shadow Market", Sub-Prime loaners (loan sharks!) and garner their wages. If we took 80 percent of the income of those manipulating liars with their yachts and 12 homes, threw them in jail and made the rest of them live at poverty level, I bet we could knock off a significant portion of the bill for their shennanigans.

Joe Plumber does not make 250K a year. He wants to consider the options of buying into a buisness which may garner that amount someday. Less than 2% of the populus makes that amount of money. The average American income ranges from about 28 K in a person's 20's to about 45K in their late 60's.

As far as I am concerned, taxes should be meted out proportionally. And those who use more tax funded programs or resources should be paying proportionately MORE.

So, Mr. Whitey McSnarkypants, that means YOU would be paying a Fuckton more than you currently are. And someone like me, who lives with two teens on less than 40K a year after taxes, could still afford to buy cereal. Because, you know what? I EAT cereal for dinner. I give my kids the meat and veggies, the good stuff, AND I EAT CEREAL, so they can have kick-boxing classes, or new clothes, so they can eat better because they are still growing.

I don't care who Obama played with in the sandbox. Give me someone with knowledge, grace, wisdom and the ability to see clearly to steer us forward. No one is going to "get us out of this" problem we are in. There are no policies that will fix this quickly. There is no Superman. The world is teetering on the brink.

So let's tighten our belts to the best of our ability, treat one another with dignity and get the hell on with this.

Oh, and MCain? Sell all but one of your houses, all of your jets, all but one of your cars and send the money to the Feds. You have my permission to take off $500.00 for the teeth whitening.

Let's get this vote over with. Let's get on the ball with untieing the knots. Enuff chatter. Enuff postulation. Enuff foreplay. As someone said to me the other day:

"I wish they would just fuck us already so we can have a cigarette. And I don't even smoke."

The Way I See It...

Bits and Pieces

I am still recovering from the huge event of Sunday. As of this morning I am able to string a few sentences together. Here are some interesting things for you. There, three sentences. I amaze myself. Really.

( via: Superpoop comics)





Click Here for Ferry Staverman site (not in English, but pretty pictures anyhugh)


Take a peek at my friend, Tim's, new PSA for Rainforest Relief:

This Week's Visitors

It always makes me smile to know that someone in some far off place is visiting. Welcome new readers in Romania, Australia and Morocco!!!

I am heading off to cater that vegan wedding for 120 today. Wish me luck! Have a Good One!

Here is my favorite song of the day: Joshua Radin is an amazingly wonderful and gentle man, and I have been lucky to see him on several tours. If you get a chance, catch him in your hometown (or country, even!).

This American Life

Tangent into Dark

I was walking Lux tonight around sunset, looking at the wonder of the color in the leaves, and the dropping sun, the blackening rooftops, thinking about the light, which sent me to

Thinking about the Sun, solar rays and how they stream down upon me, and others far away, staring up at the same sun, perhaps even at the same moment, which led me to

Solar flares, and the knowledge that the Sun does what it will, and it flares and sends things all screwy-like here on earth in everything from teeny ways all the way to earthquakes, which lead me to

Thinking about how much time we have left here on this planet we have seized and taken as our own, for our experiment called life, which do-si-doed me over to

Thinking about the government, and how I wonder if they knew, absolutely positively fersure that the Earth would be destroyed in a decade, year, week, because of a solar flare... if they would tell us, which lead me to...

Nah.

Hi there!

I have been, and will be, up to my elbows in pots, pans, knives and really amazing organic and vegan foodstuffs for the next few days. We are catering a vegan wedding for 120 in Lincoln at the Pierce House. (see: http://www.piercehouse.com/). I am having a blast! But, I am way to busy to sit here and do all the wonderful things I usually do, in the usual format, so I am just gonna throw goodies out at you. You can deal with that, right?

Here Goes...

I would wear a suit everyday if I could hang it up on this:



I would drive a BMV if I could pull up to my house in this everyday:

BMW Nifty City Car



Nifty T-Shirts here:

Graphdome

OH MY GOD! How Cool!!

Okay, gotta go run out the door now. Think of me peeling veggies, chopping onions and baking yummy things all day. Have a good one, people!

I am in love with Erin O'Brien.

There. I said it. I wuvz her, in a huge-fan-from-far-far-away kinda way, ya know?

Fall, In Earnest

Smarmy Army

I was just listening to NPR this morning, on the way to taking the Demon Spawn to school, and there was an interesting segment about the Army, and about how they are working on a new approach to War. They were talking about how we are great at blowing things up and gettting rid of enemies (did someone mention Bin Ladin? No.) They have written a new manual about stabilization for war-torn areas, about how to set up things like the police, resources like food and water, communication systems and...a stabilized economic structure for areas that we, or others, have just torn asunder.

Um.

Um.

'Zackly HOW are we to establish a stabilized economic structure for ANY other country when we are totally unable to do so for ourselves????

File that manual under Army Code "As IF"

Oh, Monday, how I dislike thee...

This weekend was pretty much a blur. We catered a lovely wedding for 60 at a Christmas tree farm in the southern part of the state. It was a gorgeous day, and the venue was wonderful (except for the fact that we had no kitchen and no potable running water). I love doing weddings. I enjoy cooking for people on their special days. I enjoy seeing the glowing bride and groom, the friends, family, loved ones there to participate and honor the bond. It makes me all mushy inside.

And, of course, there is always cake. And the cake this time was extraordinary. Completely vegan, three different flavored layers, gorgeous and very, very, very yummy. Each time I try a new cake I learn more about it's construction and what I like and don't like about different methods. Hopefully, we will crank out one of our own for our company someday. I would very much enjoy that. Getting paid well to play with food is just about the bestest job evar.

I came home late on Saturday night to a dog cranked up on Kibble. Apparently, the dog walker did not read my note, wherein I said her raw food was in the fridge in her bowl, so he just dumped kibble in her bowl. Lux was whining and pacing frantically from door to door ALL NIGHT LONG. And then came the itching, the gnawing on her flesh, the sudden jumping to "get at" whatever itch was coming down the pike next. I put on classical music, had a big glass of wine and tried to stay calm. There was really nothing much I could do aside from let it go through her system. Yesterday she was still pretty whacked, so we went to the beach for a few hours of running about, AND we saw horses!!! Lux was tired last night, and slept well, seems to be better, though still a bit itchy. Needless to say the left-over kibble goes to another doggie today.

The rest of Sunday? Naps, nice long phone conversations with loved ones, TV (I got to see the 1949 version of Oliver Twist!!!) walks, lots of cereal (too tired to cook) and early bed time. Keen for 24 hours. WANT MORE NOW. Alas, Weekend Keen has been downsized to Monday Morning Keen. Much shrinkage there, I tell 'ya.


Your Daily Dose of Cool Things:

Brussels in Bloom (thanks to Andrea M. for sending me this link!)

Your Daily Dose of Wonderful Design:

What a Keen Idea!!!

Click Here for Danny Seo's blog, The Daily Danny.

I can always find interesting things to look at and think about with regard to eco-friendly decorating and design over here.

Your Daily Dose of Inspiring Words:

"We think much less than what we know. We know much less than what we love. We love much less than what there is. And to this precise extent, we are much less than what we are" - R.D. Laing from The Politics of Experience

Your Daily Dose of Wicked-Good Food:

2006 Cabernet from Gnarly Head

I know I reviewed the Old Vine Zin from these folks, but I stumbled upon the cabernet this weekend, and was more than pleasantly pleased. Usually, I find under 15 dollar cabernets to be thin and acidic or overly tannic, but this one, oh man! was it delicious! Cedar aromas, leathery notes along with full and developed cherry and berry fruit flavors, not too much oak and a nice finish make this wine a real winner! I went back for another bottle the next day, to save for Ghost Hunters night on Wednesday.

Hmmmm

Do you remember those Barbie stands that one used to slip up the back of a Barbie doll dress to stand them upright?

I must say, I was impressed with the Palin Enterprise last night. I really expected her to fall on her pretty little face. But, she didn't. I will say that she is a quick learner. Not vice-presidential material, but, still, she did way better than I, and most everyone else, expected. Kudos to the team of folks who got her up to speed. They deserve a raise. Just send the bill to the American Tax Payer along with the 700 billion tag we are gonna get reamed with.

Off to the kitchen again today, and then a very, very long day event tomorrow. I will surface on Sunday I think.


"Bullwinkle for Obama 2008"

Hit and Run

I am off to the commercial kitchen for the rest of the week, preparing for a wedding in Uxbridge this weekend, but I wanted to throw out some good stuff before I zoom out. Thanks to Bobby S. for sending me the Saunders and French clip!

Everyone, I suggest that you buy yourself a big bottle of booze and sit down in front of the TV to watch the debates tonight, and every time Sara Plain says "Gosh" take yerseff a huge draw off of the bottle. I bet she is a much whiter shade of Palin this morning as she prepares for the showdown. She had better bring a huge bottle of Lube with her. It ain't gonna be pretty.

Retirement?

Mmmmmm....Yurrrrrrrrrrrtzez:

Clicky clicky!



More Yurts! Click Here!



Ah......I have to get to the gym more often....:



More laughter is needed these days: