Settle Not for W00t! Demand more Squee!

I dare you to tell me this did not make you smile.

I made a t-shirt that says that a while ago. I should wear it more often. The truth is that I have been feeling not so very much made of awesome. But the trend is turning. This is a good thing.

I have been spending time each morning, meditating, and listening to music, playing my singing bowl, or drumming. It has helped ground me a bit.

I have been balancing on a number of thresholds lately, teetering back and forth. That's just not so very comfy for me. Mostly that is because I think and feel so many things at once. I process a lot. That means that sometimes I just don't have the bandwidth for some things.

Among the other things on my To Do list, every day I write down:

"Joy"

Somedays, I don't get to cross it off the list.

Lately, I have. And it feels Really Totally Good.

One Man's Trash...

Bend Over, America

CLICK HERE: Jeeze, Louise!

Whereby our political system becomes Kraft's Bitch. Well, at least more transparently. I bet the price of Coco Puffs goes up tenfold by 2k11. I guess we will have more power by consumption now, maybe? If we all drop, say...the top three GNP companies, or, say, ten PAC backed corporations, we might get a few folks out. We wouldn't bowl a strike, but I bet we could knock a few pins off.

What do you say?

Oink! Moo!

(Jenny, please hold your hands over your eyes and disregard this entire post-she loves piggies and won't eat them)

Today I went to (Click Here:) Lester's Roadside Barbeque. Oh. My. God. It was wonderful! I have not eaten much in the past week or so, mostly soup and protein drinks, and my appetite has been way, way off, so I was not sure I would really want to, or be able to eat much when I got there.

I was wrong about that.

And now, my coat smells of hickory smoked pulled pork. All the doggies in the neighborhood are going to follow me around salivating tomorrow.

After lunch my friend, Andrea, and I went to see "It's Complicated", which was sweet and funny and at some points sorta painful (and I don't mean the scenes with Alec Baldwin practically naked, but really, they could have deleted those...yucko).

All in all, a pretty good day.

Good Friends

Andy O (Naked Stand Up Comedian) on left, Brynn B. (tantrika extraordinaire) on the right. (friend I don't know yet in the middle) photo ganked from Facebook.

Anyone who knows me well enough is aware that I have been going through a really rough patch the past two weeks or so. What is different for me this time is that I have a really wonderful group of 10 new friends, including the two above. Whenever I need to talk, or have a cuddle, or cry or rant or just be silent in front of a witness, these new friends have ponied up big time. Never before in my life have I had 5 or more people with whom I share my intimate inner workings, to whom I reach for support, for whom I offer the same. I am very, very grateful for my Open Hearted Group of friends. I know, deep in my soul that I am loved AND loveable. They remind me every day with their phone calls, emails and texts. I love you all, very, very much. (Andy, Brynn, Dina, Ben, Laura, Donna, Aileen, Anad, Daniel, and Shayna)

Choices

Friends

I have a dear friend who has secondary progressive MS. I could go into all the detail about how that is an auto-immune disorder, and all the ramifications but that is not really the point here. Over the more than 12 years I have known her she has tried many, many different therapies, many drugs and many alternative ways of easing her journey. Over the holiday she was considering a particularly dangerous form of chemotherapy. She sought my help, my understanding and my support. Now, this drug, which is primarily a chemotherapy for lung cancer, may, indeed be helpful for her particular form of MS, in it's particular stage of progression. Unfortunately, the two side effects of said therapy are 1) heart damage, heart failure and sudden heart attack which may occur any time during the 12 months of injections OR up to YEARS later. and 2) leukemia.

So......how badly do you want to walk?

In helping her think about all the considerations, and in watching her carefully make choices about her health care I began to think about how we make our choices in life...and the care with which she was making this life decision was profoundly affecting my own choice-making.

What if? What if we thought about the choices we made for our lives with as much integrity and care as this woman was making about her choice of therapy?

You *could* choose one route, which may have the effect of sudden loss. Or, you could suffer a long, protracted slide into the end.

Or you could stay with what you know already and make the best of things as they are.

How badly do YOU want to walk? What risks are YOU willing to take to make your life the most biggest, bestest life possible?