Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I love...


They say some dogs are just like their people...Flirt!

Meredith's cupcakes-Yummo!

STD Updates

"Human papillomavirus (pap-ah-LO-mah-VYE-rus) (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted virus in the United States. At least 50% of sexually active people will have genital HPV at some time in their lives." Center for Disease Control


I would think this falls in to the "Wow! I did not know that!" category. For years many people have believed that engaging in oral sex was a safer interaction than actual intercourse, and many have chosen NOT to use barrier protection when engaging in oral sex. Listen up, people.

While we are at it...

Gonorrhea showing signs of becoming a Super Bug, resistant to antibiotics CLICK HERE.

"Instances of gonorrhea being resistant to multiple drugs -- the definition of a "superbug" -- have started to appear in Japan, where health authorities had decided to up the dose to treat the disease, but stick with the same antibiotic, she said."

So, going out on a limb here, I am going to say that I have had to deal with my feelings about safe sex a number of times in the past years. In some cases, I have been considered "over emotional" about breaches of safe sex agreements. Some of my most painful experiences in the last few years have centered around people not advising me of other partner's positive test results for WEEKS or MONTHS (then telling me in an email, for example...gah), or deciding to blatantly disregard my feelings about our agreements concerning adhering to safe sex practices with others.

It is a tough line to hold, to express, but, dammit, it is IMPORTANT. Playing fast and loose with your sexuality may seem like "fun", and yes, it is uncomfortable to discuss your sexual history, but if you are letting someone into or on your body, it is a conversation that needs to happen, and it should happen with a piece of paper in your hand.

6 months. That is the commonly held amount of time to wait for an STD to show on an antibody test. Smears and blood tests which indicate bacterial infections are available earlier, and some STD's like chlamydia HAVE NO SYMPTOMS. You can have them for years and NEVER KNOW.

So, now you know. Cover it up, people. Seriously.

CLICK HERE FOR CONDOM NATION : Your one stop place for condoms, dental dams and more!

Monday, March 29, 2010


On the way to the gym yesterday in the car with my teen, she told me she needed to go to CVS. She told me about three or four things she really needed. Ok. No problem. Until we got to the last one...

"And, I need Whole Rainforest Mints", she said.

Huh...WTF is a Rainforest mint, I am thinking...

"Rainforest mints?" , I said...

"Whole rainforest mints", she repeated...

"Really?! Rainforest mints???", I asked again...


"What the hell is a Rainforest mint?!" , I asked...

Totally, 100% perturbed she turned to me and yelled:


Sunday, March 28, 2010

Rainy Day

Um, yeah...

Friday, March 26, 2010

Old School: Relationship Parallels

I was thinking the other day about school, about classes, in part because my teen is experiencing High School right now, and sometimes it brings me back to my own experiences, way. back. when...

And, it occurred to me that a parallel can be drawn between classes taken in school, and parts of a relationship.

There is the English portion of a relationship, wherein communication, and comprehension are formed and utilized. Here, we seek deeper meaning, and understanding. There is the Math sector, where the "workings" of things like shared finances and relationship to money and units of relationship measurement are negotiated. There is Chemistry, where, well, you know...those fires alight, or don't. There is Biology, where the general being-ness of our corporeal bodies reside (one is a night owl, one may be a morning person, for example). We have the Physical Education class, where hopefully there is no uber butch Russian Gym Teacher-lady with a moustache telling you to run laps. But, what sort of proportions of outside activities, and physical excertion do you both need to be happy? In Foreign Language we learn to speak and understand different languages and cultures. Do you enjoy travel in the real world, in the inside world? Do you go to uncharted places between you and grow from those experiences?

And, let's not forget Study Hall and Lunch.

Mmmmm. Lunch. Let us always remember Friday is Pizza Day. What will YOU put on your relationship pizza today?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tweet Tweet!!!!

CLICK HERE for dawn-chorus


Dawn Chorus, by Marcus Coates, uses unique digital methods to explore the relationship between birdsong and the human voice, drawing out previously unexplored similarities between the behaviour of birds and humans.

Dawn Chorus comprises films of 19 singers that uncannily recreate birdsong in their ‘natural habitats'. The individuals are located in various situations such as an underground car-park, an osteopathic clinic and a bath-tub, the project is as much a portrait of British idiosyncrasies as it is of the natural world.

During rigorous fieldwork 14 microphones were placed around woodland to record birds during one morning of birdsong in Northumberland. From this multi-track recording each song was slowed down up to 16 times, then human participants were filmed mimicking this slowed down song. Finally the resulting video footage was then speeded up, returning the bird mimicry into its ‘real' register. The films are presented on screens in the gallery relative to the position of the birds when they were recorded.

Roads Diverge


I met Daniel one summer at a drumming/camping weekend, as I was putting up my tent. I sat down and grabbed a peach from my pack and ate it, juices flowing down my face. He came up to me, wearing shorts and a head scarf with flames on it, smiling. We made fast friends. But, it was more than that. We resonated at the same frequency and sought one another out most of the weekend. It was very clear that there was something special between us. I was in involved with someone at the time, and he was married, so a romance was not possible. But we remained friends, deep and profound friends, for years, until at one point we were both free to engage in something deeper.

It was a short something deeper, as we discovered some parts of us that did not mesh well, including the fact that he really was not into kids or animals and I had both. Also, he was decidedly polyamorous, and while we tried dating others at the same time, with some success, it got complicated and messy and I was unable to really open up to him any deeper. Eventually, he met and fell in love with G. , a truly wonderful woman, became monogamous with her and I went my way dating little over the next 2 years.

This week he proposed to G. I am so very happy for both of them, because they truly are the best matched couple I have ever met. He is a magnificent man, and I am thrilled that he has found "The One".


It has also led me to this place of reckoning, of feelings that speak to me about how rare that is, how almost every man I have dated since my divorce has required non-exclusivity or how I choose people who are distant to me, unavailable in one way or another.

Part of me is saddened that I have yet to find someone to build a sustainable relationship with who wants exclusivity. Not only that, but that of the two men I have had the deepest feelings for BOTH were vociferously NON-MONOGAMOUS, yet they left relationship with me to be monogamous with others.

I get that it isn't "about" me. But, my feelings about this ARE about me, and about my doubts about finding anyone who sees me as special as I do, as worthy as I do, as wonderful as I do, and who really DESIRE exclusive relationship.

I tell myself that it isn't indicative of my undesirability. And, most days I can really listen to that. I don't want to craft that with someone who really does not want it. I don't want to force anyone into a box that is ill fitting for them. I can love part way. I try to be able to embrace all the forms of loving and joy that come my way.

But, still, part of me is reminded, again, that it is so very, very rare to find someone with whom you can craft a healthy and sustainable relationship AND have them want that with only you.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


oldie but goodie

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

No Right Way

There is no "right way"
to feel a love
nor it's loss
or impending low tide.

No "right way" to be "whole"
when part of your world is
collapsing from the weight
of indifference.

No "right way" to say "goodbye"
to elders, waning,
flickering like a smoking,
wilting wick
of some candle forgotten.

No "right way" to comfort
that crying child
for which no soft voice
and no gentle touch
brings solace.

The best we can do
is be as vulnerable
as we can
to the opening
of others
and to the closing
as well
for one never appears
without the other.

And grace
goes a long way when
holding the bony hand
of fear
while crossing the road.

You were given a voice.
Use it wisely.
You were given a heart.
Give of it freely.
And know
there is no "right way"
on the humble map
of the soul.

Three out of four ain't bad...NOT!

So....what about a man listening to music speaks to you of mortgage refi? Huh? Really now. And how about that attractive mother they have pictured there for the "Moms return to school"?? Ain't she cute?!

And, I am pretty sure Jesus cares not a bit about APR's hitting 3.62.

Man...these people are not thinking too very hard about things. Maybe they need more coffee, just like me.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Silly Me

I was a busy girl this week. One of my adventures was cooking for a Bar Mitzvah at the Commander's Mansion in Watertown. It was a long day, with much to do. There were over 100 guests to feed. They were served a mixture of (vegetarian) world dishes as requested by the family. These included, a Moroccan Tagine with saffron, Lo Mien, Samosas with a tamarind/chile sauce, Scallion pankcakes, curried vegetable fritters with mango salsa, sushi, tabouleh, pot stickers and much more...I did have a kitchen assistant, but it was a long and furious paced day.

The mother of the boy who was being celebrated had arranged for a Murder Mystery to be performed during the meal. It was quite fun! At one point, one of the hired staff came in and I asked if the show was over so that I could plan my next phase of the meal. She confirmed that it was over. So I asked "Who did it?". She confirmed, jokingly, that it was the butler, in the library with a wrench. To which I replied: "Oh. Really? Because I thought it was Major Hottie in the Bedroom with a lead pipe!" Hilarity followed muchly.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Periodic Partay

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Look Me In The EYE!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Water, water everywhere

I did not take these, people. I can't even GET my car near some major roads here...but this is precisely what it looks like in many places near me. Hopefully, I will get some pix later today as the waters drop a bit. Let me just say that we are done with rain. Done. Done. Done.

My sump pump cannot even begin to touch the waters, they just sink in from the foundation...ah, the lovely tones of the shop vac into the wee hours.




Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I make me laff...(redux)


Chladni Singing from meara o'reilly on Vimeo.

I will never look at a container of salt the same way again!


Monday, March 15, 2010

Die of Kyoot!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Supposed to Get More Rain Today...

More Pix

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Hymn 784

Thursday, March 11, 2010

St. Michaels

Um, yeah...I don't think so...

Really now. If I am one to sit in my car and bitch to NPR about AIG and the bail outs and all that is wrong with the fiscal universe, I cannot, in good conscience, believe that spending almost 800 clams on a sex toy is an "appropriate" idea.

Click Here for Lelo

Unless of course I use my non-existent tax rebate to buy it and promise to murmer "Fuck me AIG, Fuck me harder!" every time I used it.

I would consider that appropriate.

And I would do it.


"Leapin' Lizzards, Batman!!"

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"What's the story here?"

As a photographer, I find that one of the most pleasant moments for me is the point where I am scanning something through my camera and asking, oft times outloud, "what is the story here?". I find "stories" in sometimes very simple things. I see more things than most, and absorb them deeply. I find feeling or "essence" in something mundane. Like this:

"Give us your lunch money"

or this:

"Delicate Virgin"

It strikes me as natural that I do this with my internal world a lot, too. I scan my experiences and absorb them deeply, imbue them with feelings and thoughts, colors and sensations. I spend inordinate amounts of time and energy in my head, heart and body. Every. Day. I live life "big".

Once I said something to Scott about that, and he replied:

"Yeah, you are a big liver"

To which I replied:


Laughs ensued, but the bottom line is that I do have a lot of stories.

When I am feeling cautious, or afraid, coming from a place of contraction, not from Open, I try, as often as I can remember to, to trace back from the immediate feeling to the same question. "What is the story here?". In learning to re-wire myself from a place of reactivity (learned from some childhood traumas) to a place of acceptance and calm Being-ness, I am uncovering the Nuclear Stories underlying my Big Feelings.

Basically I am scanning my inner horizons for the likely story that is being stoked from some external (not "of Me") stimulus.

It takes a lot of work to be Me sometimes. Because sometimes the story, like the lunch money story above, isn't real. I imagined it from a place of fear. And other times, it is very, very real, and I just have not found it in the landscape yet.

Thus endeth today's system analysis.


I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for

may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing to you as no one ever has,

streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

Friday, March 5, 2010

Street Finds

I am forever looking on the side of the road for things people throw out. It is amazing how much wonderful stuff I find. Once I found an entire clothing rack full of Old Navy fleece tops and Patagonia hiking clothes tossed on the side of the street. Another time I found a wonderful stainless roasting pan and a complete set of Pier One table linens. I have many pieces of furniture, too, bookshelves, coffee tables, plant stands. My rule is that something has to really move my soul and make me happy, OR replace and upgrade something I have.

I found this Chinese silk painting on the sidewalk a few years ago. It has a water stain on the bottom left corner, and was relegated to Trash Status, left to die a slow death in a landfill. I rescued it, and every day I wake to this peaceful scene. It calms my soul. I am so glad I tuned my head that day and saw it, lingering, crying for someone to take it home and love it.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

But can it do my taxes?

Ok GO!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

We'll Have No Trouble Here!!!

Einstein's God: Speaking of Faith

Farley, Farley, Farley!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Well Now...

It does not matter how you do it, really, but that you do it at all. Perhaps it makes a difference if you shovel out of snow by bending your legs. Perhaps it makes a difference to eat a good meal before heading out to buy food. But, making it to the Other Side of a particularly Quiet Time, one of some struggle and strain, can be done in many ways. It is just that you need to do it.

Find cuddles where you can.
Seek the hot mugs of tea and a smiling offer of a cookie.
Pay someone to really listen to you, and offer their wisdom.
Let go of that burden of fear, that one which has been chafing at your neck.

Those cold, thin breaths taken in the winter wind, open up your lungs and bring life.
Lean into the trust, even if all you can see at first is the fuzzy edge, the possibility of being swaddled in it.

Bathe in pleasure when you can. Let it sink into your skin like a warm oil, feeding your parched soul.

There is love out there. And there is more In there, too.

Finding balance is impossible until you stop and really listen. Only then can you take action to find yourself well.

Well Being to all. And welcome back!