Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Support from afar

(I had a particularly nasty evening with a teen who was lashing out at me...this is what I found this morning in my inbox)

"We are im-perfect and fail-able beings. Accepting and embracing our
essential Truth with Compassion and Awareness, we free ourselves from
Fear and Suffering. By demonstrating that we are both capable of, and
worthy of, love for ourselves, despite our "failings", we invite
others into that expanding circle of radiance that is us.

Of course we feel pain when our own children reject and criticize us.
We are, after all, socialized to fall entrapped in a relationship of
reciprocal "love" dependacy - something we escape only with deep
awareness and great effort.

Real-izing that M's anger is about her, and not you, only goes so far
in healing your own pain. Because as "Her Mother", you of course
suffer for the fact that "Your Child" is suffering. And feel guilty
that you are potentially responsible - for having failed her in some
way - for not having modeled a healthier way to Be in a relationship.

For me family relationships are where my most difficult - and
important - work will likely always lie.

Perhaps the fact that we don't choose our family - that we can't "take
'em, or leave 'em" - has something to do with the intensity of our
suffering there." Inspiring Words and image-Kevin Field