Friday, May 15, 2009

Keen Email Response from a Truly Dear Friend...

Loving what is.

Wanting more.

Somehow a muddled fragment of a conversation/interview just popped like a cork above the surface of my conscious-ness. Something about desire ... being the definition of being human (probably overheard with split attention from NPR; while trying to assemble an engine in the shop).

If we agree that sublimely "loving what is" seems unattainable (and possibly un-human), and also that always "desiring more" leads one down a frantic black hole - that they are kind of polar extremes, neither one of which is optimal - then I guess one could ask, what conjuntion do we connect the two with? THAT is the question perhaps; and how we then act is what defines our lives.

I love what is, BUT I want more?

I love what is, AND I want more?

I love what is, BECAUSE I want more? That's an interesting possibility.

Is "loving what is" like collecting beautiful pebbles? Inorder to pick up more, we have to set some down? And - here is the BIG ?? - is the loving more satisfying/fulfilling because we choose to hold some longer (perhaps forever), rather than frantically sifting for others that are "more"?

It seems to me that being human and of limited capacity, we focus for varying lengths of time on one beloved or another. Perhaps it is whom/what our love chooses to hold in focus, and the amount of attention that we are able to give to them, that individuates us.

You have identified "hanging on too long" as one of your tragic flaws. But I wonder. Do you not love your self the more for having done so (which brings me to thinking of the truly Keen poem, "Love After Love")? Please know that this friend at least, loves you for your capacity for tenacity (despiite the unintended ryhme).

I ask you, could Julia be other than who she is? Could she be "more"?

I propose we love Julia for "who she is", AND encourage her to become even "more".

Breathe and Become.

I love that you feel and question so deeply.