Friday, January 9, 2009

Fifty-Five Friday

I can tell you want to know more about me. *I* want to know more about me, so, you MUST. Here are 50 things about me you may or may not know and 5 lies. Feel free to comment.

1. I have a scar on my thigh from jumping fences with Jamie Rogers, son of Fred Rogers. Yes, that is Mr. Rogers, to you.

2.I am allergic to some beers. They make my head as big as Michigan and make me throw up.

3. My personal electrical system has been known to break machines. This has happened since I was about 10. Record players, tape players, TV's, computers, watches, you name it. My magnetic personality screws them, royally.

4. I am 100% sure that I flew. At the age of four. I know it to the core of my being.

5. I dream in French sometimes.

6. I dislike capers.

7. I ate bird poop once on a dare, for a dollar.

8. I only wear sterling silver jewelry.

9. As a child I really did not understand why, exactly, they needed to "Free Soviet Jewelry".

10. I once ate a huge spoonful of black caviar thinking it was blackberry jam, and I spit it out, rather forcefully, against the pantry door. I was 8. Ew.

11. As The Guggenheim Grotto says best: "You see it’s not that I do or don’t believe, it’s that I just don’t not believe in God and aliens and love at first sight."

12. Being a parent has been both one of the greatest joys and biggest disappointments of my life.

13. I can tell when someone next to me is falling asleep because when their breathing changes I hear a crackling noise in my left ear.

14. When I get a leg cramp I often think of vacuum cleaners.

15. I always bless people who let me in while I am in traffic. "Thank you, kind person. Blessings to you and your family."

16. I have recurring dreams. Many of them. They are thematic in nature and involve homes that I have lived in (and, thus, periods of my life).

17. I don't believe I am able to fall deeply in love ever again.

18. I want to move to another country, perhaps the South of France, or San. Sebastian, Spain. Canada will do, if they will have me.

19. I like to sleep in a really cold room. Average temp in my bedroom is 55-60 degrees.

20. I went through menopause before I was 46.

21. I believe in ghosts.

22. I have a crush on a woman.

23. I prefer the company of animals to that of people most of the time.

24. In my heart, I believe socialism may not be such a bad thing.

25. I do not believe in the institution of Marriage.

26. I hate "having" to do laundry, but I actually enjoy "doing" it.

27. I love long drives. I do my best thinking in a car, driving.

28. I need 30-40 minutes of direct or moderately direct sunlight, every day, to stay sane.

29. I can only use one brand of toilet paper successfully. My bum does not like most brands. I am allergic to something in them.

30. I believe in parallel universes.

31. I hate most a cappella music, except The Bobs.

32. I have arthritis in both feet.

33. I like to drink coffee in the shower.

34. I hate flying in airplanes.

35. I have not spoken to my siblings in many years.

36. I could not happily be a vegetarian.

37. There is one person alive for whom I would feel little remorse if I shot them dead.

38. I believe in Positive and Negative Energy, and all the manifestations thereof.

39. I find the female body to be infinitely more attractive than the male body.

40. I would prefer to live in a barter system of resource exchange, than a token "money" system.

41. I can get overwhelmed easily in a crowd. I avoid places where there are many people, close together.

42. I admit to my prejudice against people who speak with a Southern Drawl. I want to slap them. This keeps me North of the Mason Dixon line.

43. I don't like the sound of people eating, chewing, slurping, clinking forks against their teeth. The whole thing freaks me out a little. Funny, seeing as I am a chef 'n all.

44. I almost always have to poop at the grocery store or bookstore. It is ridiculous. And frustrating.

45. I am powerless over birthday cake. Powerless, I say.

46. I would like to write a book of Micro-Fiction.

47. I have been published in 2 magazines.

48. My photography has been viewed on TV by 25 million people.

49. I used to dream of spanking babies when I was young. This kept me from wanting to be a Mommy for a very long time.

50. My sister pushed me into a pond with a snapping turtle when I was 4.

51. Sometimes I feel disingenuous when I am supportive of people even though I don't think they will succeed at their goal. I struggle with this.

52. I am never bored. Never. Ever.

53. I believe in suicide. I believe in assisted suicide. I believe that one should not be judged for making the choice to end one's life.

54. I want to have a gallery show of my photography some time in the next year or so.

55. I hate clowns. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. That's FIVE hates. Count 'em.