Monday, April 26, 2010

Talking to Myself

"The truth is", I said to myself as I was driving down the highway, my eyes full of salt water, "you DON"T have to defend your feelings. To Anyone. Even You. EVER."

"Hmmmm", I said back. That let something loosen up a bit for me, from the contracted place of sticks and bones, breath and tears I had become that morning.

"You DO sometimes need to defend your ACTIONS to yourself, or others, but really, feelings are sacred ground, and they just need to BE. Own them, cradle them, tell them it is okay to BE. Then tell them to sit down and relax now, they have done a good job."

I feel what I feel. And, it comes in waves, sometimes hugely present, sometimes shimmering just under the surface, sometimes under a very heavy and itchy costume of "I'm So Much MORE Than Okay, thanks!". And no one, generally, can tell from the outside, that inside is a broken nest, a crushed bird, and some pretty feathers.

I talk to myself, a lot. And, that first sentence up there was some of the best advice I have given Me recently.

Along with, "Hey, enough of the processing, already! Let it Go!". That one saved my butt last month.