Monday, December 7, 2009


Running to the Fire

Sometimes just letting the paint fall in places it wants to shows you things about yourself. I spent most of the day doing wonderful things in the Cordon Bleu Culinary School Kitchens today (more about that in another post). The point here is that, when I came home, painting something serious and determined and well thought out and properly executed was way, way out of my mind. I grabbed the paints and sat down and just Did Painting. And this came out...

As I looked at it I thought about myself...I thought about how I am drawn to fire, that sometimes I feel the pull to the fire in others, and the alchemy that produces. My life has been about facing the flames lately, smoldering feelings, flickering insecurities, full-blown flares of life force...and the draw to the chemistry of annihilation. Not in a real sense, not in the sense of life-ending, but more in the sense of burning away, charring off the bits that don't fit, watching the long held misunderstandings melt, to reveal the true and indistinguishable structure of What Is...what is Me?, What is Us?, What am I really Doing Here?...Who do I love?, Why do I love?, HOW do I love??? What is my purpose? How can I tend my own fire, and the fire I share with others without burning myself to death in the process?

Or is that even possible???

Perhaps we all need to face the fire, burn away that which does not serve us and allow for new growth to begin.

That is a hell of a lot from one "casual" painting, huh?