Friday, October 23, 2009

Stretching my Self Too Far...RANT


It is an old habit. It seems that while *I* am the one to call if you are on the floor and can't get up, or if your kid is sick and you need help, or you need a shoulder to cry on, a listener to hear of your stories, or someone to just *be* near in silence while you heal, while *I* am the one to drive kids where they want to go all the time, put myself last, give them the meat and eat the potatoes, forgo the nap so I can calm you down on the phone when you are upset...when *I* was sick last weekend, there was not a single person I could call to bring me Gatorade, there were people incapable to crafting time from their week to keep the commitments they made to call me, calls I greatly looked forward to. I am the one to drive half an hour after a shitty day and cook a delicious meal, then tend to whatever that person needs. Even when my own needs are spoken, they are met with "No, Mine". I have been teased and then ignored. I have had my own personal and professional time dallied with as if it were not important. I have been overly patient waiting for friendships and relationships to manifest into something fulfilling and healthy.

My needs are not getting met. Period.

This is going to stop.