Thursday, August 27, 2009

135 pounds lighter

Well, it took many hours of painful pushing, a bit of crying and a lot of money, but the kid above is now on her way to college. Yesterday I most closely resembled a clone of a roadrunner hybrid-crossed with an hysterical elephant, an elephant which was already pacing the cage before it turned rogue this morning and broke loose using language best suited for hip-hop uncensored.

See, yesterday I worked 2 jobs, then picked up The Kid Above, took her to get her hair cut, then to the bank, to CVS, Old Navy, a shoe store, the doctor's office to pick up forms which, for some reason (that must have to do with training highly unskilled workers) were definitely NOT filled out despite the fact that we were told LAST WEEK that they would be done THIS TUESDAY, so, um yeah, "Come back in two hours before we close"...except that particular 2 hours was already booked with other life-saving, world domination things like The Kid Above getting a pedicure.

Gas tank? empty. Third time this week.

Home to eat some food...I think it was a good idea, since I had not eaten ALL DAY. D'uh.

So, a drink was in order. I had one drink, brought out my laptop and paid my bills.

And then the call came from The Kid Above saying (sobbing, actually) that she had left her wallet, with all her money in it (she had taken out a huge chunk for college earlier that day) AT THE SALON and could not pay for her stuff at CVS, from where she was calling me, in tears. Stress? A little stress? Anyone? Bueller? (

I crashed hard into my mattress. I don't think the springs will ever recover. I may have torn the mattress pad just falling onto it. I was that tired.

Did I mention that at the VERY SAME TIME I am supposed to be in another state with TKA (The Kid Above), the younger one is supposed to be at volleyball tryouts???, tryouts for which we have filled out forms, gotten health forms from pediatrician, and all sorts of administrative-y things...and this morning...THIS 7 am she tells me "Oh, I guess I need a check for $300.00 too"


After doing my bills and seeing last night that I had just about $800.00 in my checking account (knowing that I have a paycheck or two in the mail helps...but, still...) made writing that check hard.

I need a valium lick. And a million bucks.

Maybe I should just write AIG. Those fuckers are getting another chunk of our change so the exec's can pay for those hookers and their yachts.

Still, I now weigh 135 pounds less, and I can GUARANTEE you that the mileage on my Toyota is going down significantly from now on.

But not yet. Right now I have to drive to the nail salon for that wallet, go to CVS then drive to Manchester, NH to move my kid into her dorm room.

Zip. Zoom. Zowie!