Tuesday, May 25, 2010


There is no escape from growth. It happens to you, around you, inside you, all the time. You could no more stop a train with the wings of a butterfly than make the change cease its endless push forward. Like many, I struggle often with growing pains, and much is internal, never spoken. Joys, fears, wonderings, musings, little angers building up and then dissipating like popcorn in a wind storm, all inevitable parts of being human.

I have begun a process of Letting Go recently. I have consciously decided to pry my fingertips away from the edge of the pool of wanting Something So Badly. I had to. I simply had to loosen my grip, my desire to have things go "my" way. Sure, there is a little death there, and I feel it. It is my fervent hope that the loss of what I wanted will be filled in again with Something Even MORE Wonderful in the future, or perhaps a re-visit to What I Want at another time, with other involvements.

I submit to the fact that it cannot be. And I KNOW I am worthy of the things I want. So I will wait for new coordinates.

Until then, I am feeling the need to be gentle with myself, to honor the loss of what I wanted to Be, and to keep my eyes open for New and Wonderous Things on the horizon.